A Tale of 2 Income Brackets : Part ONE – Billionaire Bathroom Breaks Earn them More than the Average American’s Monthly Salary

Since the 80’s, through the years of our various economic crises – the Savings and Loan Bail-out; the Housing Market Crash; the Banking Collapse, we have been told time and time again, how VALUABLE the uber-rich are to our economy.  That the money that these folks invest in public companies is such boost to our national economy versus, the economic contributions of the 99 %.  In this exhaustively researched 3 part piece, I dispel this myth with facts and figures.  

Why did I go to the trouble?  Because I was inspired by some “A-hole” on Youtube making the rhetorical  comment – That billionaires provide more jobs than college students do.  The comment was nested within hundreds of other comments under a video of Elizabeth Warren being interviewed by a skeptical Chris Mathews.

And in response – I wrote at length … disproving the myth that the Wealthy are more valuable to the economic welfare of this country than the majority of its citizens.  

Let’s look at how useful the top paid American CEO’s (2013) 2 real-life billionaires and a billionaire to-be are to our economy vs. the number of college-educated upper middle-class professionals it takes to equal their salaries at $100,000/year, who are fast becoming an endangered species – 20 per cent of the economy.

(And if you think I am being generous in the middle-class salary – please read –http://www.bankrate.com/finance/personal-finance/100-000-income-no-big-deal-anymore-1.aspx)

Highest Salary – Charif Souki of Cherniere Energy Inc. – $141,949,280
(Net Worth 14.5 billion – http://finance.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-ticker/real-american-story-why-fracking-revolution-happened-141609366.html)

2nd Highest  – Mark J. Gabelli – Gamco Investors – $85,049,800
( He isn’t a billionaire yet, but he isn’t doing too badly at age 32, Papa Mario’s Net Worth $1.7 Billion – http://www.forbes.com/profile/mario-gabelli/)

3rd Highest – Lawrence J. Ellison, CEO of Oracle Corp – $78,440,657
(Net Worth 50.1 Billion – http://www.forbes.com/profile/larry-ellison/ )

All of these salaries per year added up = $305,439,737
*(Info from http://www.aflcio.org/Corporate-Watch/Paywatch-2014/100-Highest-Paid-CEOs)

These three salaries/$100,000 yearly salary = 3,054 college educated professionals with $39,737 left.

Now for fantasy sake – imagine that these 3 men, had ZERO deductions – (Which is impossible, but for simplicity sake and to show the HIGHEST possible amount they could pay from their salaried income in 2014 taxes – I am removing all but the basic deductions included in the calculator below)
(Calculations were worked out viahttp://www.moneychimp.com/features/tax_brackets.htm)

At a 39.6 % tax rate :
Charif Souki would be paying $56,164,188 leaving him with $85,785,092 this makes him as impoverished as Marc G. Gabelli pre-taxes.

Marc J. Gabelli  would be paying – $33,631,994 leaving him with a pathetic $51,417,806.

And lastly, the heartbreaking story of Lawrence J. Ellis – who would pay $31,014,773 leaving him with a devastating $47,425,884.

You know, I don’t know about you, but my heart breaks for these guys.  They work soooooo hard to make their hourly – (figured at 40 hours times 52 weeks a year = 2080 – without rounding up or down)

Charif Souki –   Yearly Salary/2080 hours = $68,244 per hour

Mark J. Gabelli –  Yearly Salary/2080 hours = $ 40,889 per hour

Lawrence J. Ellison –  Yearly Salary/2080 hours = $37,711 per hour

I mean THINK how valuable their TIME is to their companies!  Consider how much the shareholders are willing to compensate them for a truly profit-making piss?

Figures on 5 minute bathroom break

Souki – $5,687 for a piss and shake  (2 second shake = $37)

Gabelli – $3,407 for a piss and shake (2 second shake = a real bargain at $22)

Ellison –  $3,142 for a piss and shake (2 second shake = an absolute steal at  $20)

I am sure the shareholders are THRILLED to be getting their money’s worth!

So much so that they are willing to pay the BIG bucks to compensate the CEO’s for wiping their own asses!  (* See percentage of income paid toward Social Security – BELOW)

That’s gotta be at least double the amount of a piss and shake, maybe even triple that on a “not-so-smooth-moving” day. (But wait, couldn’t they save at least $40,000 a month and delegate a $20/hour secretary to wipe the CEO’s ass once a day?  Perhaps this should be included on the next quarter’s board meeting’s agenda for discussion.  Ohhhhh …. Wait, she already wipes his ass (figuratively speaking), more than once a day already, probably once every half hour in her work day.  I actually think this has been standard procedure since forever.  Let’s keep it off the agenda.)

I am wondering, what level of entitlement and arrogance do you have to have as a human being (a.k.a – Narcissist of the Grandest proportions) to believe you DESERVE upwards of $3,000 just to take a piss or shit on company time?



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